


Strange Magic

by red_starshine



Series: Holidays With Chas & Constantine [7]
Category: Constantine (TV), Hellblazer & Related Fandoms
Genre: Animal Transformation, Bunny John Constantine, Gen, Halloween, M/M, Magic, New York City, Rabbits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 18:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5100467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_starshine/pseuds/red_starshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an All Hallow’s Eve visit to Chas’s family in Brooklyn, John isn’t feeling quite himself...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Magic

Geraldine spun, the tails of her black tuxedo jacket whipping around. The small top hat pinned to her dirty-blonde hair wobbled precariously, but Renee steadied it with a finger and quickly secured it with another bobby pin before it could fall off.

“Look, daddy!” said Geraldine. “Isn’t it cool? Aunt Yvonne made it. My costume looks just like Zatanna’s!”

Chas smiled. “You look great, sweetie.”

The costume had been handmade by Renee’s younger sister, who had done an outstanding job of creating a child-size version of Zatanna’s stage outfit for her niece: a black suit jacket with tails and a red carnation boutonniere over a white shirt with a tiny white bow tie. Yvonne had opted for a black skirt and tights instead of Zatanna’s black leotard and fishnet tights, but the costume still looked enough like Zatanna’s outfit that it was obvious who Geraldine was dressed up as.

“Mom even got me a wand just like hers,” said Geraldine. She brandished the plastic magic wand for her father and John to admire.

John stood in a corner of the living room, both hands in the pockets of his trench-coat. He smirked slightly at Geraldine’s enthusiasm. “That looks like a proper magic wand, love,” said John. “Perfect for card tricks and pulling rabbits out of hats.”

Gerladine’s eyes lit up. “You think so?”

John nodded. “I do. I’ve even seen Zatanna’s real wand up close. She and I are mates, you know.”

Geraldine gave a loud squeal of excitement and plopped down on the floor in front of John’s feet, staring up at him in near-awe. “Really? What’s she like? Is she nice?”

John preened slightly from the attention. “Zee? Oh, she’s the sweetest girl, love. And one of the best stage magicians I know too. D’ya wanna know why?”

“Why?”

John knelt down in front of her and gave her a wink. “Because all the magic she does is real,” he said.

“But Mr. Caleb said all of Zatanna's show is done with mirrors and tricks and stuff,” said Geraldine.

Chas gave a dry laugh and shook his head. ‘Yeah, and Geraldine really had mono when she was out of school after Faust stole her soul,’ he thought bitterly. He knew all too well that magic, actual magic and not a stage magician's illusions, were real, from watching his mother's seances as a child to the spell John had drunkenly cast on him that'd given him 47 lives.

“And who’s Mr. Caleb?” said John.

“He’s my teacher at school. He’s really smart.”

John snorted. “Yes, well, tell Mr. Caleb next time you see him he doesn’t know his ars--”

Renee loudly cleared her throat, pointedly looking at John.

“--Mr. Caleb doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” John muttered, deflating slightly.

“Dad, did you met Zatanna too?” asked Geraldine.

“A few years ago, before she got really popular,” said Chas. “Zatanna and her dad helped us out.”

“That’s so cool!” said Geraldine. “I wanna be like Zatanna when I grow up.”

John chuckled. “All right then, love,” he said. “Show us a spell, then.”

“Filigree, apogee, pedigree, perigee!” intoned Geraldine, pointing her wand towards John.

There was a loud crack in the air, and then John’s trenchcoat and clothes were plummeting towards the carpet.

John himself was nowhere to be seen.

Geraldine stared at the pile of clothing in front of her and yelled, dropping the wand as if it’d burned her hand.

“John!” shouted Chas, his blood running cold. His hand jerked away as something moved beneath the trenchcoat. Chas caught a flash of blond, but it looked too small to be John’s head.

A lop-eared rabbit with dirty-blond fur the same color as John’s hair poked its head out of the collar of John’s white shirt. He tried to jump into Chas’s lap, but one of his long feet got snarled up in the clothing and he instead gracelessly flopped over onto his face.

Chas placed a hand on the rabbit’s head to still it. The rabbit froze when he felt Chas’s hand on him. “John, hang on.” He unbuttoned the shirt and scooped the rabbit out. He still had a red tie dangling from around his neck. Beady dark-brown eyes stared at him, the rabbit’s nose wiggling up and down as Chas held him in his arms.

Chas could feel the rabbit’s small heart beat, going so fast it nearly felt like it was vibrating. There was little doubt in Chas’s mind that John was panicking, trying to figure out what was going on. For someone who always liked to be in control, having that suddenly and unexpectedly taken away must be unnerving. Chas stroked his head to try and calm him. The rabbit’s eyes closed, and the heartbeat began to slow. “It’s okay, John. We’ll figure this out.”

“You’re kidding,” said Renee. She stared at the blond rabbit in Chas’s arms. “That’s John?”

“Yeah,” said Chas. He stood up, still clutching the rabbit against his chest. “It’s John.”

Geraldine gave out a loud, wordless wail, burying her face against her mother’s side. Renee stroked her daughter’s hair, but looked up at her ex-husband. ‘What do we do?’ she mouthed.

Chas looked down at John, hoping inspiration would come to him. John looked back at Chas with as sullen an expression as he’d ever seen on a rabbit.

He looked at Renee and Geraldine. “Geraldine, do you think you could just...turn John back?” he said weakly.

“But I don’t know what I did!” cried Geraldine.

Maybe she’d gotten the spell out of an old grimore John had left lying around. “What was that spell you said, honey? Where’d you hear it?”

“It was from that old ‘Bedknobs and Broomsticks’ movie I saw on TV,” she said.

The rabbit began to wiggle in Chas’s arms, and Chas knelt down and placed him on the carpet. John struggled to figure out how to walk on all fours, his long hind feet appearing to confuse him. The rabbit stumbled around almost drunkenly until he figured out how to hop without landing on his face.

John hopped over to the pile of his clothing and tugged at the pocket of his trenchcoat before sitting up on his hind legs and staring up at Chas, looking annoyed. Chas almost expected him to start tapping one foot.

“Your pocket, huh?” Chas pulled out the contents: a crumpled carton of Silk Cuts, his lighter, and John’s cell phone. John nudged at the cell phone with his nose.

Chas chuckled slightly as he turned on the phone, realization dawning. “That’s not a bad idea.”

“What?” said Renee, mystified.

Chas scrolled through the contacts list on John’s phone. “There’s got to be one person that we know nearby who’ll be able to turn John back.” He paused, looking down at the screen. “John, you still on speaking terms with Madame Xanadu? She’s in Greenwich Village.”

John quickly shook his head, his ears flopping.

“Uh, how about Strange?”

The rabbit shuddered.

“All right, that’s a ‘no’. Well, what about Zatanna? She’s doing that show at the Garden tonight.”

John looked pensive, mulling it over. He gave a slow nod.

Chas pressed on the ‘call’ icon.

The phone rang twice, and then picked up. “Hi John. You sure picked a hell of a time to catch up - I just finished the dress rehearsal for tonight.”

She didn’t sound mad at John. That was something, considering what had happened the last time they’d seen her. “Zee? It’s Chas.”

There was a moment of silence. “Hey Chas. What’s going on?” she said, sounding slightly more wary than she had when she’d picked up.

“Uh, it’s about John,” he said, staring at the rabbit pawing at the pack of cigarettes on the floor like he was trying to force one out. “He’s OK, but something happened to him and we need your help.”

“What happened?” said Zatanna curiously.

“Well. John,” said Chas, almost stammering. “He’s. Um, he's a rabbit.”

“Oh,” said Zatanna. “Was it Circe again? God, I’m always cleaning up after her messes. At least she didn’t turn him into a pig, I guess.”

“Circe? No,” said Chas, glancing at Renee and Geraldine, who looked about two seconds away from bursting into tears again. “It was Geraldine, my daughter.”

“Your daughter?” repeated Zatanna in surprise. She was silent for a moment. “How fast can you get to Madison Square Garden?”

Chas thought for a moment. Streets across the city would be closed off for Halloween parades, so he couldn’t take his cab or a bus without delays. The subway would probably be quickest. “I can get there in about thirty minutes.”

“Perfect. Bring John and your daughter with you. I’ll have someone out front waiting for you when you get here.”

A sense of profound relief flooded through Chas. “Thank you Zee,” he said. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“I know,” said Zatanna. “See you soon, Chas.”

“See you.” He hung up.

Renee and Geraldine looked at him expectantly. John made a ‘harumph’ noise from the carpet, apparently giving up on trying to get a cigarette out of the pack.

“Geraldine, sweetie, go change back into your street clothes and get your coat,” said Chas. “We’re taking a trip to Madison Square Garden.”

Geraldine’s eyes got very large, and she bolted up the stairs to her bedroom.

Renee sighed and rubbed at her temples. “So,” she said tiredly. “Our daughter can do magic?”

“Looks that way,” said Chas. “I’m sorry, Renee. I couldn’t do any magic when I was her age, and I didn’t think that it’d pass to Geraldine. I mean, my mother was casting hexes when she was in kindergarten...”

All Renee had wanted was a normal life with a normal husband as part of a normal family. Magic had a unfortunate way of rising up to destroy her dreams.

Renee sighed again, picking up the wand Geraldine had dropped and handing it to Chas. “If you’re taking John on the train, he’s going to need a box. Let me see what I can find.”

John glared up at Chas as she left the room.

***

John kept glaring at Chas over the edge of the cardboard box Renee had found for him. The box sat on his lap. Geraldine occasionally ran her hand down John’s head and his back while murmuring apologies, which he begrudgingly allowed. The small baby carrots Renee had placed in the box sat in a corner, untouched.

The train was full of people in costume heading to parties. Witches, vampires and zombies were stuffed into the car. A young woman with painted grey skin and bloodstains splattering her face and shirt glanced down into the box.

“That’s one angry-looking bunny,” she said.

Chas inwardly sighed. “Lady, you have no idea.”

The train began to slow as an automated voice announced ‘This is 34th Street – Penn Station. Connection is available to the A and E trains.’ The train shuddered to a halt, and the doors clicked open.

“Our stop, sweetie,” Chas said to Geraldine. She nodded and hopped off the bench, still carrying the bag Chas had packed with John’s clothes and Geraldine’s wand.

Once above ground, they headed for the entrance of Madison Square Garden. A tall blonde woman in a loose fitting shirt and a baseball cap was waiting outside the row of doors leading into Madison Square Garden, and waved them over when she saw them emerge from the stairs leading down to the subway station.

“Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Mikey,” said the woman, shaking Chas’s free hand with a surprisingly strong grip. “Zee’s stage manager.” She opened the door and ushered them inside.

“We’re still getting ready for the show tonight,” said Mikey as they passed a booth full of people setting up shirts and all sorts of merchandise with Zatanna’s face on it. “Biggest venue we’ve ever done, and it sold out in three hours.” She stopped before a door between two burly security guards. “Oh, I almost forgot,” she said, reaching into her pocket. She pulled out two backstage lanyards and handed them to Chas and Geraldine. “You’ll need these before you go any further.”

Chas placed his around his neck and made sure Geraldine’s was visible.

Mikey opened the door and lead them down a long, twisting corridor. She finally came to a stop in front of a door with a gold star on it and knocked on it sharply. “Zee? Your guests are here.”

The door opened, and Zatanna peered out. She was wearing a purple bathrobe, but her dark hair was pinned up into two large victory rolls, a small top-hat not unlike the one Geraldine’d been wearing as part of her costume pinned above her bangs. She smiled when she saw him. “Hey Chas. C’mon in.”

“Thanks again, Zee, ” said Chas as he entered Zatanna’s dressing room. He set John’s box down in front of the vanity.

“Not a problem. You sounded like you needed help.” Zatanna sat down on a stool next to the box and smiled warmly at Geraldine, leaning over slightly. “And you must be Geraldine?”

Geraldine, in a nearly catatonic state at being in the same room as one of her idols, could only nod slightly.

Chas reached in and carefully lifted John out of the box. Zatanna looked at the rabbit curiously, taking in his long ears, puffy tail, and wiggling nose. “Well John, you probably don’t want to hear this, but you’re a disgustingly adorable bunny.”

Unimpressed, John made a noise that sounded like he was about to throw up.

“Can you turn him back?” asked Chas, idly stroking John’s head. The rabbit visibly relaxed under Chas’s hands.

“Reversal spells work best when they’re done by the person who cast the spell in the first place,” said Zatanna. “So Geraldine should really be the one to do it.”

Geraldine drew away from Zatanna, shaking her head. “But I don’t know any magic,” she stammered.

“Well, tell me what you did and I’ll show you how to do the reversal spell for it,” said Zatanna.

“I was just being silly,” said Gerladine, looking embarrassed. “I pointed my wand at him and said ‘Filigree, apogee, pedigree, perigee’ and then - that happened.”

Zatanna looked lost for a moment. “Oh, that’s the spell from ‘Bedknobs and Broomsticks’ that turns people into rabbits?” she said.

Geraldine nodded, her mouth scrunching up. “I didn’t think anything would really happen!”

“How peculiar,” said Zatanna, lost in thought. She got up from the stool and walked across the room to a table laid out with food, the hem of her bathrobe trailing behind her. “That’s not an actual spell, as far as I know. That movie’s been around since the early seventies, you’d think if that spell really worked something like this would’ve happened before.”

“So how do we undo it?” said Chas, still holding John.

“Still thinking about that,” said Zatanna. “Let’s try backwards magic first. Did you bring the wand with you?”

Geraldine nodded and pulled the magic wand from the bag.

“All right. Chas, put John down on the floor. Oh, and let me grab him a towel,” said Zatanna.

While Zatanna got a towel from the bathroom, Chas carefully set John down in the middle of the dressing room.

“See John? Zee's got it under control. You’ll be back to normal in no time,” said Chas.

John glowered at him, silently letting Chas know how humiliating he found this entire ordeal. Chas had to admit, it was an amusing expression to see on a rabbit.

Zatanna returned with a fluffy dark-blue towel and placed it around the rabbit. She stood next to Geraldine. “Okay, so point the wand at John and repeat after me: ‘Nruter ot lamron!’”

“Nruter ot lamron!” shouted Geraldine, thrusting her wand towards the rabbit.

Nothing happened.

“Hmm,” said Zatanna thoughtfully. “Looks like that was a bust. Let’s try a general reversal spell.” She recited a string of Latin words for Geraldine to repeat, which she managed to do without mangling the pronunciation.

Still nothing.

“Urn-tay ack-bay o-tay ormal-nay!”

The rabbit looked almost bored.

After the sixth failed attempt at returning John to normal, Geraldine looked close to tears again. She threw the wand to the carpet. “I’ll never get this right,” she said. “Uncle John’s going to be stuck a bunny forever and it’ll be all my fault.”

Chas wrapped her in a hug. “Shh, sweetie, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out.”

Zatanna looked down at John and then glanced at Geraldine. “Geraldine, you've been doing really well. Let’s give it one more go, okay? Do you think you can do that?”

Geraldine nodded, wiping at her eyes. She picked up the wand.

“For this one, let’s try a different approach. I want you to say the same spell that turned John into a rabbit,” said Zatanna, “but as you’re saying it, picture him turning back to a human. Picture it really, really hard.”

Geraldine nodded, raised her wand, and closed her eyes. A moment later, she cried out at the top of her lungs, “Filigree, apogee, pedigree, perigee!” Her words seemed to echo in the small room.

With a loud crack, a human and very naked John Constantine was sitting in the middle of the dressing room, looking slightly dazed. The towel Zatanna had gotten for him was wrapped over his chest. 

“Geraldine, honey, keep your eyes closed.” said Chas evenly.

“Did it work?” asked Geraldine anxiously. “I felt something when I said those words.”

“It worked, love,” said John, his voice rasping as he shakily stood up, readjusting to being able to walk on two feet again. “You did...you did good.” Chas handed the bag of his clothing to John. He nodded his thanks and then unsteadily walked behind a wooden screen in the corner of the dressing room.

“Uncle John, I’m so sorry,” said Geraldine. “I didn’t mean to...”

"Geraldine, everyone screws up their first spell," said Zatanna. "I know I did. I nearly burned down my house."

"Really?" said Geraldine.

Zatanna nodded. "What's important is that you learn how to control your magic, so things like this don't happen in the future. John and I can show you how to do that."

Someone knocked on the door to Zatanna's dressing room. "Zee, you're needed on stage in five," came Mikey's voice. 

"Got it," she said as John emerged from behind the screen fully clothed.

"You can open your eyes now, love," said John. 

She did, slowly looking up at John. She grinned and then hugged him tightly. "You're okay!"

"See? Back to me old charming self. No harm done," said John. He glanced over at Chas. 

Chas smiled back, his relief plainly visible. He'd never been so glad to see John.

"So, Geraldine," said Zatanna, "Since you're here, how'd you like to stay and watch my show?" She looked up at Chas and John. "As long as your dad says it's okay, of course."

Geraldine gasped. "Can we, dad? Can we, can we?"

Chas grinned down at his daughter. "I think we can do that. What do you think, John?"

John smirked, ruffling Geraldine's hair. "Why not? Just as long as there're no rabbits being pulled out of hats tonight. I'm a little sick of rabbits at the moment."


End file.
